Category Archives: motivation

What do you really want?

*We are almost six months into 2014. Where are you with your goals? I have to take George Clooney off my bucket list- at this writing he has broken out of his box and gotten himself engaged.

I am moving along in creating new business opportunities. I have settled into a new state, new town and a whole new way of living. 2014 is a change from last year, a bit unsettling, exciting and brimming with possibility. Change can do you good. What are you up to in 2014?
Circles: Where are we going?

*Updated from 2012

I bet, if you are like me, you have been thinking about goals for the start of 2012. Each year begins the annual ritual of anticipated success, ending with broken promises and shattered dreams. OK, maybe some goals are actually achieved, but for many of us we look back on a littered highway of unmet expectations.

Coming into this current year I wanted to approach the planning part a little differently. First of all, I didn’t torment myself with starting off the year all glittery and made up to look like my perfect self. I wanted to reach in deep and create goals based on my true needs and feelings.

In the past I would create goals based on a good idea. A goal might have been “have a job that pays me 50,000 a year” and then I’d go look for “a job” that fit that criteria without much thought to what I might like to do. The result has been work that stressed me out and didn’t end well.

However, what if I looked at work as a way to fulfill my feeling and needs? Looking back at what worked and didn’t I can begin to identify what might suit me better.

I want work to satisfy my need for security (money, health care, structure), or ownership of a project or my work. Some additional needs I may want fulfilled through my work:

Presence, Discovery, Exploration, Learning, Making sense of life, Shared consciousness, Excitement, Safety, Self-Care, Shelter, Sustainability, Competence, Consciousness, Contribution, Creativity, Collaboration, Communication, Community, Choice, Freedom, Independence, Inner power.

It would seem like there are lot of them here, but remember work fills many needs, I don’t want to neglect them for the sake of brevity. I want to honor my needs so that when the end of the day comes I am not resentful but filled up and happy. Also included in the list will be feelings:

Dazzled, Energetic, Encouraged, Quiet, Confident, Enthusiastic, Optimistic, Open, Invigorated, Inspired, Satisfied, Proud, Lively, Amazed, Safe, Passionate, Awed, Engaged, Vibrant, Joyful, Refreshed, Absorbed, Amused, Enlivened.

Once I have identified my needs and feelings I can more clearly clarify what kind of job or goal would fulfill my needs and wants. Applying this strategy to different areas of my life I create goals that I am more eager to achieve and can set actions around them to further meet my needs. Want to discover your own feelings and needs? Melissa Zwanger, MA, MBA, Leadership Specialist for Visionaries, has created a wonderful document for you. Here is the link to determine your own needs and feelings.

Below I posted a tip from Rich Goodfriend about how to strategize when setting an action, goal or intention. Using this technique around any action I might take really helps me identify whether it will bring value to my life, instead of unconsciously saying yes and being dissatisfied as a result.

Sample tip from Rick Goodfriend, Founder – World Empathy Day (WEday)
http://www.walkyourtalk.org

The Tip: For this week as you start to do an action, ask yourself, “Does this really meet my needs or values?
This is a strategy to make sure your actions will meet your needs.

Example: Action: I want to take a trip to a National Park.

Need Met: Relaxation, Beauty of Nature

Self Discussion:

The drive is 4 hours- It is longer than I want yet if I take it slow and stop on the way it may be more relaxing. I enjoy driving. Need Met
I would like a change of scenery. This trip will definitely would do that.
Is there any other strategy that may work better? Not really at this time.

I now feel confident that this strategy will meet my needs and more. Try this exercise and see if it is more effective to meeting your needs and bring more ease to your living and relationships.

There is value in setting your 2012 goals to really meet your needs and honor your feelings. Goals become juicy and vibrant and more exciting. You want to jump up in the morning to meet your needs and get things done. Go ahead give it a try. And December 2012 tell me what you accomplish. I am confident you will feel better about life.

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What’s that Smell?

When you woke up this morning you weren’t planning on wearing the air of desperation. You reached for a cup of coffee and a check-in with a few friends, but first you pulled up your bank accounts. And before you was a lot of red… lots of minus signs. You spit out your coffee and the cold hand of shock overtook you. No one would hold you accountable for the coffee or the shock. After all, you have been doing everything the gurus, the online marketers, the newsletters, the tweets, the teleseminars had told you to do. You’ve listened, added value to every post you have made everywhere on the Internet. You retweeted others posts, gave helpful info to those asking.  You posted, you plotted, danced fast and kept your eye on the ball.

Not only have you created info-products that were going to bring in lots of passive income, articles are uploaded to any site that will take them. You use affiliate links for even more of that delicious passive income. And when you went to sleep last night you were secure in the knowledge that lots of money was pouring into your bank account.

So no one would fault you for the shock of seeing red in your bank account. But then it happened. Panic set in. You started postings links to all your products to any social media site you could. You pulled out every affiliate email to any product in your stable of products and became red-faced with the effort of sending out emails.

Slowly people began to hide your posts, uncircle you completely. A couple even accused you of awful things. If they could look you in your face, they wouldn’t have anyway. They just backed away and closed the virtual door behind you.

And then you were in the back of your closet pulling out the unopened box set of Emerson, Lake and Palmer that some friend gave you. Certainly EBay would save you? The circle of sweat starts to grow and without meaning to you had put on the cloak of shame. Then the shadowy things with sharp claws and screechy voices started, “buy gold, sell gold”, “buy this list of 10,000 names”, “here this software will make you money”, “Sell this PLR pack of 100, 000 top-notch articles for only 10.97”. You feel them nipping at your feet, and feel them brushing your hair, while you tap furiously at the computer, all the time mumbling, “Surely this time, this thing will take off”.

Really all you wanted to do today was have a little fun, bask in the passive income rolling in. Chat amicably with your virtual buddies and live in the air of success you have been planning and working so hard to attain. Instead all there is this smell of desperation, the shame of failure and not even a dime to buy some comfort for your harried soul.

Can you relate? I know more than a few people who can. I have chatted with friends who tell me the same story, they put forward a successful face online but they are dying each day. Struggling.

I am not offering you much here. I have no product to sell you. There are no links to point you to salvation. I just want to offer you this. You are not alone. There are people like you who have not hit the sweet spot of success or even solvency. They, like you, are decent folk trying to live a decent life.

Again you are not alone.
Maybe try this link – http://www.underearnersanonymous.org/symptoms.html , no salvation promised.

Or, get some friends together. I know, we should only talk about our successes, but also need to share the failures, the obstacles to get to the next level. You can confess online or keep it to a few select few. Again, you are not alone. Don’t let those shadowy things steal your soul. Tomorrow, next week or in six months the line will be above red and you will be OK. Hold on. Hold on. We are in this together.

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